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1. |
Think with Your Memory
05:33
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Heading to work on the 800th day,
The sun finally shines a newspaper gray
The meaning of drudgery
The meaning of drudgery
A buzz and a face from your past reappears
A name that you haven't called out in years
A beautiful memory
A beautiful memory
Laughing again after all of this time,
Oh whoever said that the past had to die
Reunion and reverie
Reunion and reverie
The jokes are still inside but funny again
And you plan to meet up for a movie at ten
To honor the memory
Honor the memory
Heavier, wrinkled, and badly dyed hair,
You pretend not to notice or care
As you make your way, (panting, aching) with them up the stairs
You catch your breath and you need to go slow,
You told yourself this would feel like going home
But instead all the years of your life fall like stones
But you smile and say "welcome home"
Nothing has changed, you are still thirty eight
Eight hundred seventeen days and your late
Achy and leathery
Achy and leathery
And you're still maxed out on all of your cards
It was half as good, you worked twice as had
As much as your memory
So much for your memory
The sun is going down in the west
And it's beautiful. But you couldn't care less
As you stand in the dark, worrying over what to next
You both agreed you were both more mature
But you only said that to get something more,
And if it's been years, it's at least years worse than before
You can rage against the death of the light
But you only want to get through the night
(Or the nightcap) without getting in some sort of fight
Yes, when they left it felt like a knife,
But they left your life, you let your life
Growing far and beyond the hole in the shape of them
But you filled that hole with everything
You know things that we only know,
The smell of the touch of your blankets in snow
Apple and peppery
Fumbling, feathery
Think with your heart and you'll yearn to be free,
Think with desire and you'll pass over me
So think with your memory
Think with your memory
<i>Quel est le problème?
Tout. C'est juste désagréable de se rappeler à quel point je suis un échec. Une sangsue! Si je n'avais pas quelques amis tolérants, je mourrais de faim. Mais, vous savez, quand j'étais jeune, je pensais aussi que mon jour viendrait. Le contact avec un public! C'est ce que je voulais avoir! Ce doit être un sentiment écrasant! Penser que je l'ai raté! Alors je me nourris beaucoup de bêtises, j'imagine que ça s'est passé. Mais pour imaginer, il faut boire un verre.</i>
Jean Renoir, Carl Koch, Le Regle de Jeu. (The Rules of the Game, 1939)
What's the matter?
Everything. It's just unpleasant to be reminded what a failure I am. A leech! If I didn't have a few tolerant friends, I'd starve to death. But, you know, when I was young, I thought as well that my day would come. The contact with an audience! That's what I wanted to have! It must be an overwhelming feeling! To think that I missed out on it! So I feed myself a lot of nonsense, I imagine that it DID happen. But to imagine, it takes a drink.
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2. |
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You came in with Ann Marie on your arm
As if she were some sort of charm
No one you ever meant to harm
You will hear that song for the rest of your life
When Maureen walked into the light
Shimmering at the end of night
It's not over now!
Don't let this end
I am still your closest friend
You said then
Maureen left with her new partner in tow
You tell Ann Marie "we should go"
As if she didn't already know
Strange how you can see someone every day
And cling on every word that they say
And just see someone else in the way
Don't let it end
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3. |
Love/Denial/Secrets/Fear
04:05
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Fortunes of tournaments turn on a dime
And everything gets flattened by time
Look at the rain dry up on first sight of light
Happens to be the best time in the time of your life
Start out as strangers, tentative friends,
But somehow you're not surprised by the end
And yet it knocks your wind out, fires your bones
You couldn't keep a secret even when it's your own
Pocket your comfort and go where it hurts:
Attraction in quarter-century bursts
I tore apart my welcome, wore out my heart
Another end to something that I couldn't even start
I was a child, not anything more
When I said that I wanted to be adored
And you were a child, and you'd better be,
When you indelicately told me the things you told me
Things that I needed to know:
That there was a stormy cloud that followed me into a room
I had a gaping hole in my soul that I had no intention of tending to anytime soon
I never really wanted to know
But now I take you with me wherever I go
The burn are on my hand from reaching for you
No one in their right mind would deny you
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4. |
Dreaming of You
09:16
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Traced the fortune line of your palm
So I could see where you'd gone
I felt it so long
Falling like the rays of the sun,
Look at your dressing undone
We were too young
To notice the waves below us
That blew us under the
Bluest depths of the shore
Keep touching your face, keep drawing the trace
I'm exhausted and too far gone to refuse
But I'm dreaming of you
Muscles folding into the skin,
I let them loosen within
You let me back in
Falling through the curve of the air
And through the waves of your hair
And now you're there to keep me a float
On top of the slowly rocking away
Whatever you say
Keep touching your face, keep drawing the trace
I'm exhausted and too far gone to refuse
But I'm dreaming of you
Lying in the late evening mist,
I felt around for a kiss
It turned into this
Embers blowing backwards in time,
I kept your dreams wrapped in mind
It's all in my mind
Be honest with me, too slowly to see
The sun coming down, the snow on the ground
Keep winding the string, still smile when you sing
I'm exhausted and too far gone to refuse
But I'm dreaming of you
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C Alexander Chicago, Illinois
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