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Sometimes Quickly, Sometimes Slowly

by C Alexander

/
1.
Light shines in your room, the shadows fall against the wall So many reasons why we'd want them out Smoking in your underwear, you motion down the hall Knowing I would come whenever called I'm waiting in your shadow When there's nothing there for me Telling myself stories in your silence That may be But they're nothing, Only teenage memories Leaving all your lights on, I can see it from the street He's just like me, but skinnier and young Crying in my father's care, I want to, have to know But show me, just one time when I knew anything I'd done Why would I decide to strap a pipe bomb to my soul? Is there something I should know? It isn't a love song, and isn't the truth But it won't meet any questions, or need proof I'm waiting in your shadow When there's nothing there for me Telling myself stories in your silence That may be But they're nothing, Only teenage memories (eessennetrofsenosiht)
2.
I wrote this screenplay with you in mind All of the dialogue was in Leonard Cohen lines I said "I was your man" but I couldn't convince you You said "I was just a Joseph. with no manger to turn into" It's in the papers that the rage, this summer, is infidelity Well, I guess we jumped up on that wave and rode it in too early I know I'm the other man, with no business to care Who you're fucking in your town because there's nothing else to do there In that screenplay, I had a scene of the two of us in school Trying to recapture all of the pain and loneliness we went through And in the end I wrote some things I thought would cut right through you But you don't even care for movies, do you? The last night I saw you, it was cold for June, and you wore my sweater Which would still bear your scent when I went to wear it three days later When I dropped you off, all your friends had already started drinking So I took my leave, and wondered what it was I had been thinking. I was thinking about a song I wrote when I was seventeen And all the others: untitled; unfinished; unwritten; and unconceived I thought about the way you made that other night seem half as long I thought about a lot of things. They were all wrong But I thought about the way your skin looked When the moon shone through my window Bathing us in light when we lied down to do the thing we came to And I thought about the way your arms had Felt in mine, bereft of clothes And goddammit how can anybody help but think of things like those
3.
I'm running all out of things That I can sing out I think that thirty-nine years Is more than enough And yet I find myself here In front of strangers Singing songs about anger, Self pity, and love Oh, the rings of Saturn I never could find a way To say I loved you I never thought it would help Either you or I I never wanted my life To ever shame you You could have been anyone Maybe you could have died I hope wherever you are This song will find you I hope you're writing your own I hope they're better than mine I hope, when you find the words, They come as hard as breathing I hope you find me, But I wish you'd do what you'd like Brighter than the rings of Saturn. Bigger than the rings of Saturn.
4.
What did you do with the hour You had in the morning? Didn’t you bargain your day away For another ten minutes of fiction? Or did you forget your dreams Just to take your place in the grey dominion? Oh, what did you do With the time that you had? What did you do with the day Inside in the winter? Didn’t you leave your dishes dirty Only to stare at a picture? Or did you neglect your passions Just to dust off another fixture? Oh, what did you do With the time that you had? What can you say for the years You have on your body? Say you enjoyed each moment In all its evanescence and splendor Or say that you build the frame That will stand every wind in December Oh, what did you do With the time that you had? You lived. You lived. You lived. You lived. You lived. You lived. You lived.

about

Music:
Track 1: 1999 with Lish-ian edits in 2021
Track 2: 2004
Track 3: 2009
Track 4: 2017 (too late for The Meaning of Feeling Good)

credits

released December 3, 2021

Chris Rott: Synths and elec piano solo on track 3

license

all rights reserved

tags

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