Get all 10 C Alexander releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Sometimes Quickly, Sometimes Slowly, Untitled, Unfinished, Unwritten, Unconceived, Girlfriend is Better - Forty Years of Life in America, Side B, Forty Years of Life in America Side A, 3 Old Songs, The Meaning of Feeling Good, The Final Recordings, An Overhaul, and 2 more.
1. |
Waiting in Your Shadow
03:43
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Light shines in your room, the shadows fall against the wall
So many reasons why we'd want them out
Smoking in your underwear, you motion down the hall
Knowing I would come whenever called
I'm waiting in your shadow
When there's nothing there for me
Telling myself stories in your silence
That may be
But they're nothing,
Only teenage memories
Leaving all your lights on, I can see it from the street
He's just like me, but skinnier and young
Crying in my father's care, I want to, have to know
But show me, just one time when I knew anything I'd done
Why would I decide to strap a pipe bomb to my soul?
Is there something I should know?
It isn't a love song, and isn't the truth
But it won't meet any questions, or need proof
I'm waiting in your shadow
When there's nothing there for me
Telling myself stories in your silence
That may be
But they're nothing,
Only teenage memories
(eessennetrofsenosiht)
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2. |
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I wrote this screenplay with you in mind
All of the dialogue was in Leonard Cohen lines
I said "I was your man" but I couldn't convince you
You said "I was just a Joseph. with no manger to turn into"
It's in the papers that the rage, this summer, is infidelity
Well, I guess we jumped up on that wave and rode it in too early
I know I'm the other man, with no business to care
Who you're fucking in your town because there's nothing else to do there
In that screenplay, I had a scene of the two of us in school
Trying to recapture all of the pain and loneliness we went through
And in the end I wrote some things I thought would cut right through you
But you don't even care for movies, do you?
The last night I saw you, it was cold for June, and you wore my sweater
Which would still bear your scent when I went to wear it three days later
When I dropped you off, all your friends had already started drinking
So I took my leave, and wondered what it was I had been thinking.
I was thinking about a song I wrote when I was seventeen
And all the others: untitled; unfinished; unwritten; and unconceived
I thought about the way you made that other night seem half as long
I thought about a lot of things. They were all wrong
But I thought about the way your skin looked
When the moon shone through my window
Bathing us in light when we lied down to do the thing we came to
And I thought about the way your arms had
Felt in mine, bereft of clothes
And goddammit how can anybody help but think of things like those
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3. |
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I'm running all out of things
That I can sing out
I think that thirty-nine years
Is more than enough
And yet I find myself here
In front of strangers
Singing songs about anger,
Self pity, and love
Oh, the rings of Saturn
I never could find a way
To say I loved you
I never thought it would help
Either you or I
I never wanted my life
To ever shame you
You could have been anyone
Maybe you could have died
I hope wherever you are
This song will find you
I hope you're writing your own
I hope they're better than mine
I hope, when you find the words,
They come as hard as breathing
I hope you find me,
But I wish you'd do what you'd like
Brighter than the rings of Saturn.
Bigger than the rings of Saturn.
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4. |
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What did you do with the hour
You had in the morning?
Didn’t you bargain your day away
For another ten minutes of fiction?
Or did you forget your dreams
Just to take your place in the grey dominion?
Oh, what did you do
With the time that you had?
What did you do with the day
Inside in the winter?
Didn’t you leave your dishes dirty
Only to stare at a picture?
Or did you neglect your passions
Just to dust off another fixture?
Oh, what did you do
With the time that you had?
What can you say for the years
You have on your body?
Say you enjoyed each moment
In all its evanescence and splendor
Or say that you build the frame
That will stand every wind in December
Oh, what did you do
With the time that you had?
You lived.
You lived.
You lived.
You lived.
You lived.
You lived.
You lived.
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